Saturday Night in the Big City

Who knew Bono ate at Del Taco?

And his sidekick Bozo?

With Henry's upcoming T-Ball practices and games,

Nate felt that a new mitt was a must.

Perfect fit Charlie!

Daddy spent ample time heating and rubbing the

new glove with glove juice until it was so soft you could fold it.

And then we ate yogurt smothered in heavenliness.

The Children's Museum

Let me just preface this by saying I LOVE taking my kids to public,

kid-friendly, learning places like the zoo, the library, the science museum, etc.

It's one of those activities that makes me feel a mom in a community of moms.

Friday, Grandma Reno and I took the boys to the Children's Museum.

On a Friday afternoon.

Of Spring Break.

I know I use the term "herding cats" more than I ever should. But it really, really

captures the essence of my emotions.

When you pay for your Children's Museum ticket, they have you step aside,

part your hair and give you a (included in the price of admission) frontal lobotomy, spin you around and around and the jury is still out on this, but I think they slipped me acid.

Normally a semi-sharp, semi-engaged person, the Children's Museum kicked my

rear-end. There were just so many knee-high humans moving around at your feet, it

felt very disorienting and intimidating.

Henry & Charlie didn't notice.

They just yielded their way into the moving school of fish and

went about their business as I shook the rocks in my head and

just kept pushing the button on my camera.

But enough about me.

Dressed in their construction vest and tool belt,

they boys were perplexed with the board of locks.

Charlie was angered with the fact that he kept unlocking the damn thing,

and nothing opened.

So he checked the back of the board to see who was messing with him:

Grandma opted out of the free lobotomy and was completely coherent and engaged. Thank goodness, because without her, I may have stared at the dripping water feature in the water room all afternoon.

Now that I actually look at these pictures, I see no knee-highed children running around and I am starting to wonder if it was all in my head. Great.

Looks like I will be shelling out another co-pay to look into this little problem.

Charlie! Don't touch it!

Um Hi, this is Chalie Baton. Can I get a cab at 2:00? My Mom shouldn't drive.

Lawdy, the soduim content in canned beets is outrageous! Mom? Mommy?

Though this is a fake rubbery pear, I was proud that Henry even

pretended to eat it seeing how it isn't shaped like a chicken nugget. Baby steps.

Makin' eggs. Henry's wrist is directly connected to his lip.

To turn his wrist, he had to curl his lip.

He gets this from my dad.

Look Mom! A funny phone that has a metal rope attached to it! Is this an olden days phone?

Can you play games on it?

In the end, the boys suckered Grandma into buying them rubbery dragons

from the "gift" shop. Henry pulled out his high pitched whine, heavy arms, rubber knees and two tears and Charlie batted his eyes and told Grandma she was "so cute".

"We got her Henwy."

And then Grandma carried us all to the car.

The End.

Some Grandmas

Some Grandmas

Read large print Readers Digest

Study Good Housekeepings from years gone by

for jello salad recipies

Quilt

But this Grandma is from Reno.

She hip Checks her Grandsons.

And blatantly fouls a three year old.

And throws elbows.

And talks nasty trash about yo' mama

Because she is Grandma and she is from Reno

And she is AWESOME! And we give her a big Thumbs Up.

At Day at the Sea Side in Seaside

We've been absolutely consumed with the tragedies

in Japan. Glued to the TV; our hearts in our stomachs.

We really needed to get out of the house, so we headed west

to Seaside to make sure our coastline was still intact.

Yep, it is.

As beautiful as ever. Even with the thick sea poop in the air.

In case you are wondering, they use this name loosely.

Compared to the other aquariums on the coast.

"you lookin at me? Are. You. Lookin'. At. Me.?"

Touch table! Pokey things, sticky things, rough dry things. Good Stuff.

Henry and his Hermit Crab

Lunch! For the seals, not us.

Chopped up fish parts.

Charlie, of course, had to throw his own fish, but was a little on

short stuff side and couldn't make it over the fence, but that

did not hold him back. He had more fish bounce back onto his forehead and

face than made it into the seal pool.

The Carousel Mall. A classy, classy joint.

It's so refreshing to be able to find a Ceramic trinket store that sells

beloved wolves howling at the moon, dreamcatchers and quality sweatshirts

with kitty cat screenprints all within the same store. No more running

from store to store to satisfy all of my needs. Thank you Carousel Mall.

But then, next to Dreamcatchers, we found a toy store.

Which had EVERYTHING you could ever want if you

are between the ages of 1 and 15, or Nate.

Charlie loved this tea set.

We shared High Tea

But there were so many shiny things, like the actual

Carousel that it was hard to focus on the Earl Grey in front of us.

Our daytrip to Seaside was centered around a lunch of

real good clam chowder.

Nate does not mess around with a "lets just try this place"

No sir re. He is all about connecting with the locals and finding out

where THEY eat clam chowder.

The gal Nate interrogated couldn't remember the name of the

super duper good clam chowder restaurant down the street, except that

it started with a "deeeee" or "doooo" sound.

We walk.

We find Doogers.

We chose so, so wrong.

As we left Doogers, completely hungry and unsatisfied,

We walked past Dundees.

It was Dundees. She meant Dundees.

We did Doogers.

Damn Doogers.

Nate and I have, what we think is a terrible, ornery, inherited gene that requires

us to purchase and eat an Elephant Ear if we pass anyone or place that

sells them.

Saturday was no exception.

This is Henry, about to bite my finger if I planned to take any part

of the Elephant Ear away from him. GRRRRRR.

And then, like his parents, he finishes off his meal by licking he plate.

There is no need to leave perfectly good clumps of cinnamon-sugar butter on the plate.

And then we have monkey see, monkey do. He has the gene too.

And then we proceeded at high speeds, blasting into each other

over and over until those cinnamon-sugar butter clumps starting

threatening to reappear.

And it was a day that the four of us will talk about for a long, long time.

I love you Bartons!

Hitch in our Giddy Up

Today, when we were on our way out the door for the day,

we learned that my car gone died. Nuthin. Not even an glimmer of hope that

she was going start today. Though, interestingly enough, all of the electrical lights come ON when you remove the key from the ignition. I'm no mechanic, but that cain't be good.

But I'm sure the boys are right. It's surely something that a hammer and a ladder should be able to fix.

To Do List

I have lots and lots of unfinished business on my To Do List.

Like the entire month of February and parts of January.

But.

Today, I had one thing that just had to be done.

Make Charlie laugh. Hard. Because he has one of the best uncontrolled laughs I've ever heard.

Check.

Saturday Morning Old School

This Saturday morning,

there was no TV,

no cable,

no Net Flix

no Nintendo DS

no video games. period.

Instead, we took Saturday morning old school

and visited our neighborhood library!

All four of us are now completely Legit.

Library cards and all.

We looked at books.

And played games on the computer.

And read various periodicals.

And put puzzles back together.

And channeled James Dean.

And skipped on concrete benches.

And channeled Jack Bauer.

Nate and I were both surprised to find that there are so many things you

can check out FOR FREE!

We have reading materials and movies to last us 14 days!

Yea for the Public Library!

The View from Here

Foggy. Cold.

Frisbee under the bushes from the last sunny day we had.

Sometimes, when I look outside, I wonder if I am a character in

a Tim Burton movie.

Truths

I stole this from Nate who received it from a coworker...so I don't know who to credit. But if something makes me laugh more than 5 times, it just must be shared, because laughing makes everything better. Please note that these are not all representative of my personal opionion, but still made me laugh.



1. I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.

2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.

3. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.

4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.

5. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

6. Was learning cursive really necessary?

7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on # 5. I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.

8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died..

9. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.

10. Bad decisions make good stories..

11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.

12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don't want to have to restart my collection...again.

13. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page technical report that I swear I did not make any changes to..

14. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.

15. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.

16. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lite than Kay.

17. I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.

18. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.

19. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear or understand a word they said?

20. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters!

21. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.

22. Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.

23. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I'd bet everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time.

24. The first testicular guard, the "Cup," was used in Hockey in 1874 and the first helmet was used in 1974. That means it only took 100 years for men to realize that their brain is also important.

Who's on First?

It was 2 hours into naptime. Charlie had not fallen asleep yet.

Thump

Thump

I stop and listen. The thumping stops.

I go back to whatever it was I was doing. I’m fairly certain it was something productive.

Thump

Thump

I open up Charlie’s door and he is standing in the middle of his room with a very large man-sized snow glove on one hand, shoulders slumped forward and his bottom lip pushed out, and his long shaggy hair swept over one of his eyes. Wiffle balls surround him on the floor.

I quickly close the door so he can’t see me laugh.

I open the door again and he is scrambling back into his bed. He knows.

Why aren’t you napping?

I dunno. I am not sleeping.

Why aren’t you sleeping?

I dunno. I am not sleeping.

You should be napping, Charlie.

I dunno. I am not sleeping.

Is that all you can say?

*says some unintelligible*

What Charlie?

What did you say Mommy?

What Charlie?

What did you say Mommy?

He won. And then I waited for the crazy clowns to emerge from the ceiling, pop a honking nose on me and escort me by both my elbows as my large clown feet drag behind me to the clown car that waited in my driveway. Because that is how a conversation with a smart two year old can make you feel sometimes. Ah-oooo-Gah!