Hillbilly Christmas

It's beginning to look at lot like (a hillbilly) Christmas.....

Today, we were on the ball.

Up and at 'em early, kids fed, dressed in their finest

(which isn't saying much these days).

We arrived at the mall at 10am sharp and were STOKED when we saw that

Santa would be there at 10am.

Things were looking real good.

As we approach the mall North Pole and all of our eyes started

getting bigger for different reasons.

Me: It was a damn good lookin' Santa.

Henry: It was Santa!!

Charlie: Shiny!

Nate: There were only a couple of people in the Santa line.

Or so we thought.

In fact, the "Santa line" started well behind the mall's "North Pole".

Behind the North Pole facade were the many, many, many families

that had obviously been waiting for Santa

since sunrise, standing in the various switchbacks

of velvet ropes.

The parents faces said it all.

Our joyful faces turned grinch-ish.

By the time we reached the end of the line, I was sweating

and Nate was silently throwing f-bombs.

We had a lot of shopping to do today, so we decided to "try again later".

I know, I know....aren't we funny?! Like it was going to improve!

Later, while I quickly shopped,

Nate decided to bring the boys to "see" Santa.

As in, stand in front of the North Pole set up and literally, look at the other

kids sit on Santa's lap.

As we stood in front of Santa, I felt a twinge of sadness...

it hit me that the kids might not get to talk to Santa this year.

That was when Nate did it.

Between paying customers, Nate told Henry to wave to Santa.

Henry: "Hi Santa!"

Santa waved back.

Nate: "Henry, why don't you just yell to Santa what you want for Christmas!"

Me: "WHAT? N---"

Henry: "Hi Santa! I want a Spiderman Bike

and a Linium Falcon!" (Millennium Falcon)

Santa waved again

My mouth hung open.

Nate: "Did you see that Henry?? He heard you! He waved back!"

Henry: "Yea!" Completely satisfied.

So there we were, standing outside of the North Pole "fence"

watching all of the

well-behaved, well-dressed children

wait patiently in line for who knows how long

all to get a chance to tell Santa what they wanted for Christmas.

We, just yelled over the fence. No waiting required.

At first, I was quite horrified and tried to stop Nate.

But then I thought, why not?

He just wanted to tell Santa what he wanted, and that is

exactly what he did.

Hillbilly? Maybe.

So after we "visited" Santa, we put the kids in the

Burban, rambled over to Red Robin to make

the most of bottomless steak fries and soda.

But we were done shopping, fed and home for naps by 12:30

while all of those other suckas

probably still waited, tired, hungry and on the verge,

if not already in full-blown, temper tantrums.

So. There.